Tucson Apartment Living

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Whether you know your roommate before you move in to your apartment together, or you’re complete strangers until you bring boxes into your new house, you’re probably not always going to see eye-to-eye. Even if you do get along most of the time, you’ll still want to discuss a few major topics right after you unpack, so you know how long your roommate intends to stay, how chores and bills will be split and how to resolve conflicts, should any arise.

With clear, open communication and a business-like approach to handling everyday tasks and responsibilities, you and your roommate(s) will live in efficient, shared peace.

Dealing with lifestyles
You should have this conversation before you move in with someone. Sit down with them and discuss each other’s lifestyle and habits to determine if you are compatible. Talk about hygiene, neatness, study habits, pets and smoking. For instance, if your roommate smokes cigarettes and intends to smoke them inside the house, but you are allergic to smoke, it can make life quite miserable for you. Resolve to have the roommate smoke outside only, or if you cannot be around smoke at all, you may be better off finding another roommate. It’s far better to figure these things out before you are in a one-year lease with someone you could never live with.

Sharing food expenses and supplies
Some roommates prefer to purchase their own food and cook meals individually, and others grocery shop for the entire household. While the latter may be convenient for splitting the cost of household items, you may find that purchasing groceries individually works best, especially if you have a busy work or school schedule. Plus, you all may not like the same food, and you may have different food budgets to work with, which may be the difference between Ramen noodles and steak for dinner. Determine which cabinet in the kitchen is which roommate’s, so you never have to worry about someone stealing your food.

Splitting bills
First, if there is a master bedroom and bath in the house or apartment, determine who will get this and if that person will pay more rent for it than the others do for their smaller bedrooms. Decide whose name the bills will be in, or better yet, which bill will be in which roommate’s name, and decide which roommate will drop off or mail the rent. Purchase a dry erase board to hang in a central location in the house, either the living room or the kitchen. As the bills come in, write the name of the bill (such as “cable” or “rent,” on the dry erase board, the total cost of the bill, how much each roommate owes (i.e., divided by three if there are three roommates) and the date you need the payment, not the date the bill is due (so you will have some leeway if a roommate has trouble providing the money). If you choose, do this with utility bills, along with the total of the supplies, shared foods and cleaning products. Then there is no confusion about how much is due when.

Cleaning responsibilities
To get a feel for where everyone stands on the subject, call a roommate meeting one evening to talk about chores – decide what needs to be done, who is purchasing supplies, who will do what and how often it will get done. During the meeting, make a list of chores, list supplies needed to accomplish the chores, decide how often they need to be done, determine who doesn’t mind doing certain chores and divide the rest evenly. If it helps, make a chart or calendar of when chores should be done to help roommates remember when to do them. Most importantly, don’t pester, and don’t obsess over details.

Resolving conflicts
You will probably not always get along with your roommates, and that’s perfectly normal – you’re individuals who grew up with different lifestyles and have different schedules. When conflicts arise, gather everyone involved in the situation in the room to discuss the problem, and try not to talk about it with mutual friends or the third roommate beforehand. Each roommate should take a turn describing his/her perception of the situation, how she/he feels about it and what he/she wants, communicating in a clear way, using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Try to empathize with the others’ positions, even if you don’t fully agree with them, and try to come to an agreement about what the conflict is about. Then negotiate a solution where everyone compromises something. State what you’re willing to do instead of why you can’t do something. Soon, you’ll be back on the road to roommate harmony again.